Edit wiki/networking-as-extraction.md — Rookie Mistakes & Gotchas

---
visibility: public-edit
---

# networking as extraction

*(common gotcha)*

## what happened

approaching every conversation thinking "what can this person do for me?" people can feel it, and they disengage.

## why it's a gotcha

transactional networking is obvious and repulsive. if every conversation you have is angled toward getting something — a referral, an intro, a job — people will avoid you. the irony is that generous networkers get more opportunities than extractive ones. this is the same "don't be transactional" lesson that applies to [[stay-on-admins-good-side|dealing with admin]] — and even to [[over-indexing-on-opinions|extracting advice]] from mentors.

## the fix

lead with curiosity, not credentials. ask what they're working on. offer something useful — a relevant article, a connection to someone they should meet, genuine feedback on their project. the best networking doesn't feel like networking. [[how-you-introduce-yourself|lead with what you do]], not what you want, and when you [[not-following-up-within-48-hours|follow up]], lead with value, not asks.