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+
+# FOMO trap
+
+## what happened
+
+i've always just been in the mindset of grab as many opportunities as possible. the anxiety when peers get opportunities you don't — internships, acceptances, features, followers.
+
+## why it's a gotcha
+
+FOMO is about position, not growth. you see someone get an internship and feel behind, but you don't actually know what they're learning or whether it's relevant to your path. the comparison is based on what it looks like, not what it is. and the anxiety it creates makes you chase opportunities that don't align with what you actually want.
+
+## the fix
+
+when you feel FOMO, ask: am i jealous of what they're learning, or what it looks like? if it's the latter, it's not worth your attention. the most successful builders you'll meet have a strange ability to ignore what everyone else is doing and just keep building. that's not confidence — it's clarity about what matters to them.
+
+## see also
+
+- [[over-indexing-on-opinions]] — external validation seeking
+- [[comparison-as-motivation]] — the motivational version of FOMO
+- [[figure-out-what-you-want-before-partners]] — clarity about your own goals is the antidote
+- [[over-planning-trap]] — FOMO can trigger over-planning as a coping mechanism
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